A Burned Out Artist: A year of personal growth Pt. 1
The wake-up call
"How can I be working so hard and still be failing at life?"
This question was always on my mind as I tried to be a good stay-at-home mom while dealing with ADHD. For ten years, I took care of our home and family. After finding out I had ADHD, many of my daily struggles finally made sense.
As my kids got older and needed me less, I started diving into the things I was passionate about—mainly art.
My passion for art grew into selling at artisan markets and teaching at a homeschool co-op. I started making videos and social media posts to share my work. But art wasn't the only commitment I was taking on—my family had multiple kids' sports activities, and my husband was working longer hours. With each new "yes," I added another weight to my already heavy load.
Then came the wake-up call. Exhausted and overwhelmed, I realized saying "yes" to everything that came my way was coming at the cost of what mattered most—my relationships. The distance growing between me and my family forced me to confront an uncomfortable truth: I needed to rethink my priorities and find a better way forward.
Finding my Values
One powerful exercise I did was writing my own eulogy.
I know it sounds morbid at first, but this exercise turned out to be helpful. I learned about it through Ali Abdaal's goal-setting seminar. Ali, a former doctor turned productivity YouTuber and author of "Feel Good Productivity," suggested an interesting approach:
The exercise involves imagining what you'd want your loved ones to say about you at your funeral, then using those reflections to craft a eulogy. It's a great way to identify your core values and what matters to you in life.
An easy way to do this is to take your notes and copy and paste them into ChatGPT and then ask it to write a eulogy using those notes.
In addition to writing my eulogy, I also adopted a habit that Matthew Dicks, author of "Storyworthy," suggested. Matthew is a great storyteller. He's a 36-time Moth StorySLAM champion & 5-time GrandSLAM champion.
He suggested taking 5 minutes before bed and writing down your highlight from the day.
The one thing I noticed about my highlights was that they involved other people.
2/2/24-parents visited. we did a puzzle together and played games.
3/8/24-Late night walk with the boys. The stars were really pretty.
4/9/24-Met at the park with Katie. The kids were trying to catch prairie dogs.
9/11/24-Bible study with Dina.
9/14/24-Family jiu jitsu.
10/21/24-Practiced arm bars with the kids.
Reading my eulogy and thinking about the highlights throughout the year, I discovered that I valued quality time spent with family and friends.
Resource spotlight:
Feel good productivity by Ali Abdaal
Key takeaways:
- Writing your own eulogy can be a powerful exercise for identifying core values and what matters most in life
- Through self-reflection, the author discovered that quality time with family and friends was a core value
- Keeping a daily highlight journal revealed that meaningful moments consistently involved other people
- Simple activities like puzzles, walks, exercise, and Bible study became memorable highlights when shared with family and friends
Embracing what matters most
The journey from burnout to intentional growth isn't always easy, but it's transformative. What started with the painful question "How can I be working so hard and still be failing at life?" led to discovering what truly matters. Through exercises like writing my own eulogy and keeping a daily highlight journal, I learned that my most meaningful moments weren't about productivity or achievements – they were about connections with family and friends.
My highlights throughout the year painted a clear picture: whether it was doing puzzles with my parents, taking late-night walks with my boys, or practicing jiu-jitsu as a family, the moments that brought the most joy were those shared with loved ones. This realization helped transform my approach to managing ADHD from just surviving to thriving.
While I'm still learning and growing, I've discovered that success isn't about saying "yes" to everything. Instead, it's about being intentional with our time and energy, focusing on what truly matters, and building meaningful connections along the way.
Stay tuned for the next "Behind the Scenes" post as I talk about practical changes I made to manage my home better, how I set goals for myself, and daily wins.
"What daily moments bring you the most joy? I'd love to hear about your highlights in the comments below."